Changes: How to move forwards?
Dr Saul Hillman is an experienced psychologist and therapist who regularly posts blogs on his website on a range of topics that are relevant to many people and which either provide a psychological spin on life or offer self-help strategies. In this article, Saul thinks about the different ways in which we may need to move forwards and instigate change in our lives, particularly if we hit a rut.
As we progress through life, and manage the demands, constraints and obstacles that come our way, we naturally fall into patterns, routines and habits. For most of us, these are a necessary structure in our lives but we can often hit a wall and struggle to find the drive, confidence and strength to move forwards. Most clients will turn up to therapy in some sense of stuckness and in need of that injection of belief or drive to make that change. Therapy is about making change possible and self-manageable without endless sessions of therapy. Throughout life, most of us will fluctuate between positive and negative moments - at times, we will be in the swim of things whilst at other times, we will be out of our depth. We can learn how to change and how we react to the more difficult things going in our life, whether these are relationship problems, a separation/loss/ending or overwhelming feelings of anxiety or depression. We can move forwards in our life in a range of different ways and some will come more naturally than others to us. There are five caricatures of change seekers which superficially portray the different types of people who may manage this change.
- First, we have the 'sage', who copes by seeking knowledge and methodically finding a way of informing themselves as much as possible so they can overcome any obstacles.
- Second, we have the 'traveller' who believes the journey of life will ensure that they will move forwards and find what they are looking for, whether this is perfection or nirvana.
- Third, we have the 'drifter' who steps back, retiring from centre stage, and goes with the flow.
- Fourth, we have the 'ostrich' who hides their head in the sand but can at the same time have the powerful kick that deals with uncertainty.
- Finally, we have the 'conductor' who takes on the role of being a leader who harnesses action of others. So, how do we move forward? We have to understand the present and accept where we are now. We also need to limit how much time we spend in the 'past' as this cannot be changed. Finally, we have to accept that the future is uncertain but at the same time, it can be navigated through.
Dr Saul Hillman has been practicing in London for 15 years as a psychotherapist ~ using counselling, hypnotherapy and life coaching.
He has a PhD in Child Psychology, Advanced Diploma in Hypnotherapy and Counselling, Certificates in Counselling, Practitioner Diploma in Neuro-linguistic Programming (NLP), trainings in life coaching, Diploma in Sports NLP, a practitioner certificate in Thought Field Therapy (TFT) and Eye Movement Desensitization Reprocessing (EMDR).